Blame it on the Magi,

or maybe not?

Well kiddies it’s almost time for the annual celebration of that wonderful heartwarming tale: The Slaughter of The Innocents.

You know the tale, I’m sure? But just in case, let’s refresh our collective memory of the details, shall we?

The Three Wise Men, or Magi, are those foreign blokes with long beards dressed in long robes depicted on Christmas cards, riding on dromedaries following a star.

Odd that Luke, the, er … historian, never mentions them.

Also odd that, in at least one Christmas carol, they are referred to as Kings. I was one of them at our Sunday School Nativity play when I was seven.  Who could forget, ”We three kings from Orient are.”

Of course, this referred to the Orient, somewhere in East Asia. I was initially going to plum for Vietnam. After all, who could possibly gainsay me? Remember: You weren’t there, man!

However, it was more likely somewhere in Persia, as this is where the term Magus originates, and not Leyton Orient which is an English football club outside London in the suburb of Leyton just off the A12, between Walthamstow and Stratford.

It’s worth mentioning that the Magi were astrologers, and if memory serves, don’t Christians have a thing about  what basically amounts to magic and fortune telling?

Pliny the Elder wrote several chapters about the Magi wherein he details their skill in magic arts—including pouring boiled earthworms in the ear to cure a toothache! Hence the term ”Ear worm”?

Perhaps they offered this remedy to Mary when the kid began teething?

So … the Magi follow a star which is a sign that a new King of the Jews is born.

Now we all know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, right? So why does the star lead the Wise Men to Jerusalem to the door of Herod, someone who was not known for such niceties as tolerance, forbearance and understanding?

As the script writers in a certain Life of Brian noted  ” … doesn’t seem very wise to me.”

Having alerted Herod there is a usurper in town, the star … oh, let’s give it a capital letter,shall we? The Star now leads our travelers to Bethlehem where, acting as a GPS parks above a barn/inn/stable/hovel/house.

All that is missing is the large hand with the pointing finger and the booming voice saying: ”Here he is!” .

 

Not only is this tale obviously a complete work of fiction, it is clear to anyone who has a reading comprehension level about a caterpillar that it was God – the Creator of All Things – that for no apparent reason whatsoever,not only led the Magi to Herod’s door, but was the one responsible for prompting Herod to go on his Baby Killing Rampage.

 

Yeah! Go Yahweh. You’re the Man.

Sheesh!  What an Omniscient  Nob.

 

Ark.

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40 comments

  1. Wasn’t there another phictional mass murder of children with the god of Moses? Feels like an obsession. It’s always good to hear 100s of thousands of inconsolable wailing mothers for the holidays. God is love

    Liked by 3 people

      • Matty was the master of quote mining. He omitted the part of the prophecy proclaiming the children would return:

        This is what the Lord says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,”declares the Lord.

        “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your descendants,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.” Jeremiah 31:16-17

        Liked by 1 person

  2. HOLY CHRISTMAS, WRAP A WREATH AROUND THIS Ark!!! Have you seen this goal by Townsend today; the Man City v. Crystal Palace first-time cracker (with NO BOUNCE, out of the air!) from outside the box!!!???? There are no words to justify THIS beauty. It just might be the Goal of the Century!!!! (in stunned Yule Tide amazement) 😲😵

    Liked by 1 person

  3. According to Josephus, Herod the Great was suffering from a severe illness and contemplating suicide towards the end of his reign. So it seems strange that he’d be concerned about a child rival, especially since he didn’t feel it warranted assigning a few of his own men to aid the strangers in their search.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh my, Ark. You just ruined my Christ-mass. I’m devastated. After all those years of visualizing Jeeeesuz in the manger and Joseph and Mary and the star and the lambs and … and … and now you’re telling me the Wise Men weren’t genuinely wise?

    Horrors! I may have to take down my Christ-mass tree and burn my nativity scene.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Hi ark-
    Merry Christmas! Just take it as a well wish, no offense suggested.

    But it’s puzzling to read a post about your ‘innocents’ thing, since you speak of a God who is non existent, and a book which is not factual.

    As to the wise men, indeed they were, gifted in the reading of the stars which would have made Carl Sagan jealous. After all, the Creator put them there for the heavenly astute, making Degrasse and Nye clueless and at a disadvantage.

    Now then, Herod was an evil king lest you forget, and since the travelers were indeed wise, surely Jerusalem was not out of the ordinary to them, being their GPS was more reliable………..

    God is blameless. Hitler lives in every age. Perhaps you forgot that old devil AGAG who was sheared to pieces, so of course the newest king Herod had interest in He who would be a ‘threat’ to his reign. Ha! If he only knew the Lord’s kingdom was not from hence.

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    • No, CS, won’t wash. Aside from the fact it is all crap – nonsense pilfered from the Old Testament ( do you need the books?) it was Yahweh who alerted the Magi/Kings by way of a ”wandering star”.
      Of course, Yahweh could simply have spoken to them, but that would have ruined the poetic, fairy-tale nature of the tale.
      So, alas, Yahweh must have had a plan for leading the Magi to Herod, who was indeed a monster, as he, G-D, would have known exactly what Herod would do – had it been real of course – so, sorry old sport, Yahweh was very much the guilty party here and you can whine all you like.

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      • Oh good then, we are making progress. It DID occur. Now, its all about the details which make you uncomfortable.

        Your greater concern though should be the beheading of the greatest prophet ever John, (the Baptist, who do no miracle) at the hands of a dancing girl and a wily mother, then further, the death of the spotless Lamb of God………..

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          • Ha hilarious. My reading skills are actually exceptional, and my observation of nature, science, as endowed with common sense and pure reasoning makes me well aware to know that your orbiting earth at 67.000 mph is fraudulent, but I digress.

            The scripture narrative is true, every word, and the lengths that people will travel to enjoy that word, as well as the miles that they will accrue despising the same word, is well, obvious, hence your post here today.

            God is not on trial doug, you are. His ways are perfect, yours? Eh, not so much. Mine? Eh, not the greatest either. See, I am an equal opportunity offender. My sense of fairness and balance should be obvious to you by now, and the consistency I bring without fanfare should give you pause.

            Back on point. A celebration of slaughter? Never. Not yesterday, or tomorrow. there is no pleasure in the acts of the wicked which engage the death of anybody.

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          • The scripture narrative is true, every word,
            Except that even the best Christian scholars in the world disagree with you.

            ….and the consistency I bring without fanfare should give you pause.
            Yes, consistently deranged, and I do pause and wonder how long I should allow you free reign with your ignorant diatribe.

            there is no pleasure in the acts of the wicked which engage the death of anybody.
            And yet, the biblical character, Yahweh, loves nothing more than a little bloodshed. Well … a LOT of bloodshed to tell the truth.

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    • CS:

      And here’s wishing you and those you hold dear a merry Christmas~!

      But with the best will in the world I cannot accept that the omnipotent omniscient is in any way blameless. In truth, He alone is responsible.

      Unless, of course, the scribes got it wrong and God wasn’t, in fact, the Prime Mover …

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      • The ‘scribes’ were only to show fidelity to the text. This is WHY the scriptures are credible.

        It presents the good, the bad, and the ugly. Raw bones so to speak. It’s called life in all its fulness and depravity.

        As for me, I happen to choose life, but happy holidays as well.

        Liked by 1 person

        • “The ‘scribes’” were human beings and …

          While many Christians resist challenging the accuracy of Bible scripture, it is an accepted fact that human beings were doing the copying and humans are not infallible. Further, according to scholar Bart Ehrman, many of the early scribes changed text because they thought it was supposed to be changed. If they saw what they felt to be a mistake or if a text disagreed with their own theological opinion, they altered it. Reference: Things I Never Learned in Sunday School

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          • Things you never learned?

            So the quintessential message of the gospel as developed in the book of Genesis, explained through the law, and interpreted through the virtues of grace somehow escaped you?

            And somehow it is I who am unlearned and ignorant nan? Don’t think so. It takes more than spelling ability to understand the book of Daniel, that is of course, if you do not think King Darius was literal and real, as well as Daniel the man of God who had superskills in the den of thieves.

            So what problem do you have with the narrative as told regarding the bringing of gold, frankincense, and myrrh?

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          • Nope — didn’t escape me. I fell for all of it hook, line, and sinker those many years ago.

            HOWEVER, there came a day when I decided to look a bit closer, took off my rose-colored glasses, and Voila! The “revered” story had blips, bleeps, and bloopers. (Oh and some of those bloopers were doozies!)

            But that’s OK, CS. All kiddies enjoy their fairy tales and it wouldn’t be nice for me to take away one of the (obviously) great pleasures in your life. But do try and read under a better light.

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  6. You got to play a king? Lucky sod, I was a stupid shepherd complete with dad’s dressing gown and a bit of painted cotton wool for a beard! Oh and they did come from Leyton Orient, what do bible writers know, always fibbing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Then too, if you’re going to write a best seller in ancient times or not, what better than a book laced with gore and grue–and this one has all the elements: a near death escape as a child, an idyllic childhood and tumultuous adolescence and then a mysterious disappearance (you would think someone might have noted that), a betrayal, a trial, a crucifixion, and at last, a happy ending. Sort of. Conveniently with no body for anyone to find, golly, am I surprised. No one ever found Mary, either. God just whisked her right up to heaven, too. The first rapture.

    I give it three stars…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I thought ”Mary” went to live in Ephesus, where she had a rather contrary garden. Or did she wander around Northern Turkey trailing a little lamb? I know for a fact she appeared in dreams to Paul McCartney.

      Like

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