Oh for gods’ sake! Say what?

While Christians and Muslims seem diametrically opposed in many of their religious views there are some striking similarities between members of these two faiths.

Surprisingly, however, it is not certain aspects of their doctrinestheir theillogical literaturethat are the more noticeable of these two sworn enemas.

For the answer, one has to turn to the medical journals.

A recent paper, published in Sheep, Goat & Camel Herders Weekly by world renowned orthopedic surgeon, Doctor  Stumble Limpdikski, suggests an anatomical shortcoming in their nether regions.

As the tenets of each religion make  allusions to “Walking in the footsteps of the Wholly Profit” , Dr. Limpdikski was called in to make a prognosis. This was after Ear & Throat  specialist, Dr. Adenoidal Eerwacks discovered adherents of these two faiths, and especially re-baked Christians, had only a mere 1% hearing in one ear.

This hearing defect caused adherents to incline their heads to one side in an effort to hear better. Although, he was quick to add that they hardly ever seem to listen. “This must be why they call it mono-theism,” said Dr. Eerwacks.

Over the years, this tendency to such a bias forces a shortening of the bones in one or the other leg.

Eventually, devout Christians and Muslims end up going around in circles.

Dr. Limpdikski believes there is little hope of a natural reversal once the condition has set in.

“At first, we thought they were just play-acting, and in the grand tradition of the theatre, suggested they ‘Go break a leg’. However, this did not have the desired effect and caused more psychological trauma.

Dr. Limpdikski has offered a non-surgical procedure as a less painful, albeit long-term alternative.

“If you come across one of these poor misguided souls, one might consider taking pity on them rather than offering ridicule for such unfortunate behaviour.

”I recommend telling them jokes as often as possible,” said Limpdikski.  ”Several have succumbed to a healthy dose of leg-pulling and it is marvelous to witness how a lucky few return to walking a straight and narrow path.”

The Ark.

Copyright DSP


13 thoughts on “Oh for gods’ sake! Say what?

  1. Christianity, Islam, po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

    Another paper published in Sheep, Goat, and Camel Herders’ Weekly by behaviorist Munâfiq bin Kulaybah suggests that the behaviors resulting from such hearing problems may in fact be adaptive, since going in circles is an important part of these unfortunates’ normal lives. Examples include walking round and round the Ka’bah during pilgrimage and circling the demographic drain in the Western world due to their inability to accept the reality of former committed Christians abandoning the faith, rendering them unable to understand or address the problem.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. “Theillogical” Most definitely will remember that church term! 😄

    I was having a 3-4 hour discussion Saturday night with a dear friend about the more comprehensive history of Jesus’ Jewish reform movement and “theillogical” development of Christology — only because she truly wanted to understand (she’s not Xian in the least) — and Ark, in the end, by the time I got thru and up to 325 CE with Constantine, then Theodosius I and II (5th century CE), she was utterly confused as to WHY the Roman Empire (Catholic Church & bishops) chose Jesus the Nasoraen as THE Son of God, Messiah, Christ… especially when Jesus, according to all extant sources, never claimed himself to be “Messiah.” 🤔 Finally, I was able to convince her that Second Temple Judaism/Messianism has absolutely nothing in common (theologically or historically) with Hellenistic Pauline Apotheosis, i.e. today’s Roman Christian/Christological Church and Bible. A true Theillogical circus! 😵🤯

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I doubt if anyone claims to be a messiah, god, second coming, whatever, it’s usually after the fact when they are no longer in any condition to accept, reject, or respond–it’s like crowning some poor sod who’s been dead for a few months, to rule the country. he doesn’t know, and can’t reject the honor.

    Especially if he never existed in the first place.

    And the ones that DO claim the honor are usually bundled away to a soft room somewhere until it wears off.

    Liked by 2 people

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