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Are you frikkin’ Nutz!

There were three men in the room. They were waiting. So, in a manner of speaking one could consider this was a waiting room.

One of the men, who had identified himself as Paul, was convinced that he had been spoken to by a god. This god had told him he was a sinner and he had to sell his earthly possessions and travel the world preaching salvation. Information gleaned from some of those he had tried to convert stated Paul had been emphatic that the god who had spoken to him was able to walk on water,  bring dead people back to life, including himself, cure disease merely by laying his hands on a sufferer and  a myriad of other miraculous claims.

He had toured the world for the past five years and so far had converted nobody

The second man said his name was Ishmael.  He too claimed he talked to god, though he was adamant his god was not human. Ishmael’s god, however, did say he had to pray at least five times a day, and informed him that Paul’s god was a fraud, or that Paul was a fraud, and should be prepared to kill to defend his god’s honour, and be especially on his guard in case Paul drew satirical pictures of his prophet.

Paul and Ishmael were busy arguing, and it was a bit difficult to understand quite what was going on.

The third man, who didn’t reveal his name, and who didn’t believe in any god, became so agitated listening to these two idiots rant on  he tried to intervene.

After twenty minutes it seemed that both Paul and Ishmael had turned all their vehemence against the godless man, having quite forgotten all about their own personal differences. Apparently being godless was far worse than worshiping different gods.

At least they had a point of common interest to vent their anger.

After a  further twenty minutes the door opened and a man in a white coat holding a clipboard announced the results of their job interviews. The godless man had failed to secure the position.

“Why? I am the sanest one in the bloody room. And now you’re going to employ one of these idiots?”

“Having monitored your behaviour over the past hour we feel that although Ishmael and Paul are in all likelihood clinically insane, we believe the more unstable person to be you, godless man, simply because you were stupid enough to think you could reason with either of them.’’

‘’The fact is, that if these two gentlemen were in strait jackets you would have considered them mentally unstable, possibly even insane, and would never have tried to engage them in rational conversation, am I right?’’

The godless man opened his mouth to protest then closed it and dropped his head.

‘’No, I would never have tried to start up a conversation, let alone tried to mediate a dispute. It would have been like trying to have a simple chat  among the inmates in the asylum in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s nest.”

“Exactly! So I am sorry to say your application has been rejected.’’

As the godless man sulked out of the room, like two expectant well trained chimps, Paul and Ishmael winked at each other then looked at the man in the white coat.

“Okay, gentleman, there is, as you know, only one position available, and that is Tour Guide for the Creationist Museum at Kentucky.  The job will go to the first one who can demonstrate to the satisfaction of the other that their god is the true god. Take as long as you like….”

le (godless) Ark

Dedicated to John Z, Nate Owens, Violetwisp,Marcus, Mak, Bigstick, Holly and all the other real crazies.

Now stop dribbling and take your damn medicine, by orders of Doctor Ark.

29 thoughts on “Are you frikkin’ Nutz!

    • I notice we both have a new ”friend”. Help me ”kill” it please…pretty please?…Its giving me nightmares. What is a paarsurry anyway? Is it a Muslim county in Southern England?
      Make it stop, Johnny..I beg you..

    • At some point we have to stop and ask, who is the craziest of them all? Me or them. Holy S*** it might be me.
      It would be like coming down to breakfast every morning to find unklee sitting at the table with a beatific smile on his face and him saying, “Now, kcchief1, where were we?””

      Hell, now that will give you nightmares for the next week! RFLMAO

    • Ah..dear heart, can’t beat ‘em with a stick so beat ‘em with a smile.
      Always nice to see your open window at my door. (and other cock-eyed metty fours)

    • There is an element of truth in all humour. Sometime this is quite sad.
      Now, where’s my Ken Ham T- Shirt, the one with Dinosaurs Are Your Vegetarian Friends printed on the front.?

      • Indeed and what is so sad is when people can’t find the humour in life.

        I also want a T-shirt like that. You got an extra one there?

    • Think I missed this first time round, so I’m glad you reblogged it – it’s actually quite witty! But I’m confused. I thought you weren’t doing religious stuff anymore (and I saw you commented on Fide and Jasonjshaw (or whatever)’s posts. You’re not doing a very impressive job of avoiding it. And while I’m rambling, jasonjshaw person has a point, you should leave him to gently deconvert the Christians, he’s doing a fine job, and the presence of ranty atheists just put them defensively back in their corner. Would you agree? I was just there as a passive, tree-loving, vegetarian agnostic.

      • No. I wouldn’t agree. He must make his mark in the sand and stop pretending to play both sides of the field with his wishy washy pseudo Christianity spiritual Scott McKenzie flowers in his hair nonsense.
        I visited Fide as I hadn’t said a naughty word in two days and needed to swear at someone and his face came up on my view archive list.
        I am busy swearing at Derek over on Jason’s blog as we speak.
        The god, God makes me do it. He talks to me at night.

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